in less than two weeks i will be officially on leave, and at the end of my academic year. this is the end of my first full year as a permanent academic, and my third time running my subject (it runs every semester, so i dont get a break). it feels good to have a whole year under my belt, and i feel like im finally coming up for air. being so busy really helps to pull things into focus i think, separates the wheat from the chaff, as they say. i’ve learnt heaps, had some successes, made some mistakes. i still have a lot to learn, but i’m grateful to be in a supportive and caring environment (one of the few such in modern academia i fear).
this week just gone we had 6 hours of meetings to declare all of our student results, and i pulled out my knitting.
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i was sitting next to my head of school, and she just kind of laughed at me, and then started messing with my stitch counting. i am very grateful to work where i do, and to have the support of some very good people. i managed to submit three grant applications (i will know about 2 of them in the next week or so) and i also managed to get the revisions on a paper submitted on time.
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i am also the co-editor on a book proposal now under consideration by an american publisher, and i am looking forward to meeting up with my co-editors and acquisitions editor in new york city in a couple of weeks. everything is coming together workwise and i am really excited about where it might take me, in both the short and long term.
in the short term, obviously, it’s taking me back to the US for winter. yay new york city in a couple of weeks! december 17, to be precise. i can’t wait. everything is all lined up for a week in manhattan, including tickets to see hugh jackman on broadway, and matisse’s cutouts at MoMA. then christmas and new year with friends, and then back to philadelphia for five weeks. i am so excited about the snow. and the archives, of course. but snow!!
now that work is winding down i have been thinking about knitting all the time. i cleared my coffee table of all the work files, and sorted through yarns, and patterns, and wound skeins into balls, and started things and then frogged them, until finally settling on hats to start with:
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these are both hannah fettigs simple beret in Shibui Baby Alpaca (Ash) and Fibre Co Road to China Light (Hematite). i have enough left of both yarns to make matching mitts.
but i wanted some kind of matching neck wear, and started a simple lace scarf but just wasnt feeling the love. then i remembered i had a significant amount of Sbibui staccato in Ash, to match the baby packy, and i’d been meaning to do Veera’s “LineBreak” for ages, so i cast that on yesterday, and am already up to here.
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but before i started these, i managed to finally finish another hannah fettig pattern, the brise cardigan. ive been knitting this all year, in the beautiful madelinetosh merino light, in my favourite colour Tart. it worked perfectly:
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its a very hard colour to photograph, but it blocked beautifully and is so lovely and long and drapey. i love this beautiful knitted on collar
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although i had to go back and pick up all the edge stitches and knit on a few garter rows to stop the stocking stitch roll.
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i also made full length sleeves (did someone say snow) and they might be a bit too long now, but better that than short. anyway, i’m very happy with it and cant wait to wear it. in the snow. my next cardigan is going to be dresden, in all this lovely Loft.
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its a shame i only have 5 skeins and need a few more, meaning a visit to purl in soho is required. terrible.
i havent had much time or energy for anything else in amongst all this. i managed to make time to get my hair fixed this week finally. lets not talk about grey. that’s what hairdressers are for.
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secretly though, i just want hair the same colour as possums :)
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speaking of which, she has been here only intermittenly because i’ve been working too much, and trent finished exams so he has had the dogs most of the time. but she’s here now and we had a lovely time down the beach this morning.
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i will miss this. i am not a summer fan, but when you live this close to the water, it’s hard not to enjoy the salt breeze, and the cool water, and the tan, and the view from the cafe down the road…
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i will miss the dogs too while i’m away. its been three months since Lila was killed, and i miss her as much as ever.
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i have been getting very itchy puppy feet, but cant, wont, until i get back.
i’ve been thinking about her a lot lately. someone i follow on twitter lost his dog, and posted about it, and it bought a whole heap of dog lovers/caring people out of the woodwork, and it got me thinking about all the grief that’s been around this year, people i know struggling with life and death, my own losses.
it’s true that if they dont kill you they make you stronger, but not because you get a thicker skin, or become uncaring. this year, i’ve found true strength in vulnerability, in letting people see me grieve, letting people be there for me, not having to be neat and tidy all the time, and in being able to care for people back. caring can be so complicated, and never more so than right now, in this spectacularly uncaring society. everyone’s so caught up in their own dramas, their own miasma. i forget sometimes the only way out of that is to care about someone else’s.
the older i get the more i realise this is life, that’s exactly what its about. its not about the Things. its not about what you have. its about what and how you love. and what you lose.
and of course, the simple things, like cuddles with the dogs, a walk on the beach, time to breath and think, time to knit, one slow stitch after the other.
and the thought of snow falling on my face. i cant wait!
kxx
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